Sorry, sir. Your model is obsolete.

"We've ruined each other, is what it is. We've been with each other so long, we have no useful dating skills."

And as I walked her back to the car, I had to agree. W and I had been together for 9 years and we were each other's first. That made me the dating equivalent of one of those house dogs: ill-equipped to survive in the wilderness.

So when a friend tried to give me some advice recently, I naturally paid close attention.


NI: Why don't you follow us for drinks on Friday night?
Me: I don't drink. You know this.
NI: That's alright. And that's not the point. The point is, where we go, there's a lot of people you'll know. And you can say hi to them.
Me: Aren't I supposed to be saying hi to new people?
NI: Yes, but you can't do that. What you do is you keep coming and you keep saying hi to the people you know. Then the people you don't know will start noticing you. And then, then they'll come to say hi. All you have to do is be consistently visible for a few weeks. Easy.
Me: So new people won't want to know me unless I already know other people.
NI: Well, yes, (stares at me like this is the most obvious thing in the world).
Me: I don't think I want to meet those kind of people.
NI: Sigh...See, this is another problem you need to work on.


I'm not sure if I need new skills, or new friends.