Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Sith Happens

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith premieres in KL on Thursday. And I have tickets.

Having been a fan since oh, age 3 or so, I recently re-visited some of the earlier Star Wars movies so I’d be in an appropriately psyched state for what’s being billed as a no-holds-barred-holy-shit-it’s-dark-and-sinister-as-fuck conclusion to the saga.

And then halfway through my viewing of The Empire Strikes Back, it hits me.

There are no women in the Empire.
Not one.
Not even ugly ones.

As well documented as Star Wars is, both as a pop culture icon and something bearing all the hallmarks of an organised religion, there are no theories on the thousands of fan sites to explain this.

And of all the possible plot lines debated by pimple-faced Star Wars geeks out there, none discuss what - to me - is the blindingly obvious genesis of this systematic erasure of the fairer sex from the Empire.

Don’t you fools see?! Obi-Wan Kenobi was boning Amidala on the side! Obi Wan shagged the living Sith out of her, Anakin found out, went ballistic, worked himself into a nasty case of chronic asthma, started wearing leather and got into all sorts of wrong S&M shit and decided that there would be no women in his life ever agaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiin!

We now return you to your regular programming.

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