3 rainy days: 2001

(Rifles through glove box for the 17th time, still no house keys.)

MotherFUCKer.
Shit!
Sigh.

(Puts car in gear, drives to end of street, brakes suddenly.)

Will you fucking move!

(Dog refuses to move)

MOVE you fucking-

(Leans on the horn. Dog is still there, unaffected.)

Ok, fine you wanna-

(First gear, inches forward, brakes suddenly.)

FUCK!
You mangy FUCK!
Jee-zus!

(Car is like, six inches from the dog. I’m freaked out, dog is not.)

FINE!

(Backs car up slightly, drives around fucking mangy dog. Parks at the end of the street.)

(Calls mom, she answers.)

Mom: Hey.
Me: Hey Mom. Look, are you guys close?
Mom: No. We’re…I don’t know. Maybe 40 minutes, an hour.
Me: Shit. I left my keys when I left the house.
Mom: Well, you’ll have to wait. We’re in a jam. Very heavy rain here.
Me: Yeah, same here. Look nevermind, I’ll just wait here.
Mom: Ok.

(Ends call. Sighs. Turns wiper off. Notices stupid dog is approaching car.)

Fucking-

(Dog sits next to car, upright and proud. He just looks ahead and the rain is just soaking him.)

Stupid fucking…

(Dog just looks ahead. Rain gets heavier. Something happens and I, I dunno. I don’t know what happened. Anyway, I open the door.)

Come here.
Come HERE you stupid fucking-
COME HERE!

(Dumb and deaf stupid fucking dog looks straight ahead. I’m getting wet, holding the door open so I fucking slam it. Sighs. Grabs umbrella.)

You’re a deaf dumb fucking-
FUCK YOU come HERE!

(Dog doesn’t even move. Dog is made of stone or something.
Walks over to dog. Shelters dog with umbrella. Shoes get wet in like two seconds.)

MotherFUCKer…

(Waits in the rain with dog. Ungrateful dumb fucking dog just stares straight ahead.)