Wednesday, July 06, 2005

What if it all means something?

When I reached the age of 12, I had the strongest impression that my first child would be a girl.

In fact, it wasn’t just an impression. It felt more like knowledge.

To a 12-year-old, especially one who wasn’t even interested in girls yet, much less thinking of parenthood, this is weird shit. And when you have more pressing things like homework, video games, and how to skip school on your mind, you generally file it away.

But it kept coming back. So for more than half my life I’ve had this feeling, this certainty.
My first kid will be a daughter
I like kids, but I’m not rushing to be a dad anytime soon. The main reason being well, me. You see, I have all the maturity of a 10-year-old. And I don’t think one 10-year-old can take care of another.

But the feeling persists.

And if you think that’s weird, or that I’m just a bit of head case, or that people experience this déjà vu shit all the time, get this:

I had a dream once. The same dream for almost two solid weeks.
I didn’t tell anyone about it at the time cos it’s not exactly what people wanna hear before they go for a company trip in Perth.

Again, the impression was so strong, it seemed like a memory.

In my dream was a plane.
And it was flying into two very tall buildings.

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